A Developer Adventure

Published on Saturday, December 20, 2014

By Stephen Meyles

A recent request to our support team from a developer investigating a performance issue.

Dec 02 17:22

Greetings Nobleman!

I am Brian. First son of Janet, Countess of Tables. Diana has put away her bosom, Apollo has lifted his skirt. The day has been launched!

I am writing to regale you with an account of my recent venture into the depths of CXXXIV. I was slaying giant insectoid creatures with the sword of judgement, when I found a beast that seemed to slow time whenever a brave soul approached it. This monster had seemed to… taken on the form of a void in the very world itself. As if the whole world, the entire globe, had excluded it from existence. I thought I may be able to avoid it, but it proved too treacherous to be ignored. Bravely ignoring my own safety, I snuck into the back of its lair, and perused the reagents that had conjured it into the vile state I saw before me. Within the materials, I found that the field used as the alchemic ingredient to summon this beast was not blessed by the sap of the binary tree, twisting its purpose to one of villainy and sloth.

I humbly beseech you to charge forth into this beast’s lair, and to apply the sap of the binary tree to the field which gives it life. Only then may it be slain! I would go myself, but I do not know the magic words to grant me access to the forest of bits.

Godspeed IMS Health Support, and all hail Nexxus!

Sir Caruso of Features, the First of His Name

Global exclusions are enabled for ACT_134 on a field that isn’t indexed, which is slowing down their account. This is an XXXX instance. This field should be indexed for ACT_134, and all other XXXX instances should be inspected to make sure they get the same treatment as it is necessary.